


Summer Romances and Autumn Leaves

by Takujaepls



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-26 05:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6226345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takujaepls/pseuds/Takujaepls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you had to make the tough choices and bear the hurt to protect the people you loved. Mark loved Jackson. </p><p>He'd do whatever it took to protect him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Summer Romances and Autumn Leaves

 Summer was over. Summer was over and he couldn't give himself any more time no matter how much he wanted it and, fuck, he  _wanted_ it. He'd never wanted anything more in his life but he had no right asking for more. The time he'd been given was already much more than he'd expected. He wasn't gonna be selfish. It was time to let go and he knew that. He'd accepted it.

 His phone pinged and he reached over, smiling fondly at the message displayed on his screen.

**The Wangmaster, 1:36 pm**

_we're still meeting at 2 right?_

 He'd accepted it but he still felt a pang in his chest when he thought about it. He hadn't expected it to be easy but his life never had been. Still, he had one more day. One last day to make the most of.  _Carpe diem_ and all that. 

**Marky Mark, 1:37 pm**

_yeah, meet you @ the park_

He pulled on a comfortable pair of jeans and the sweater Jackson had once said looked good on him and set off. He had never been the type to primp himself like crazy and that wasn't about to change now. He wanted his last day with Jackson to be with him, not some made-up shell of him. No, Jackson deserved more.

 He made it to the park with a couple minutes to spare. Jackson was never early, mostly late and sometimes (rarely) right on time so he had a while. He lay down on the ground under their tree and waited. Everything was a bit too bright but lately it was always too bright. He couldn't change that.

 The trees were starting to lose their leaves. To some it might be bitter, watching the trees shed as winter approached but to him if was his favorite thing. He loved fall and he loved watching summer fade into it. He didn't see it as a metaphor for death, it was rebirth. Everything came to an end eventually. What could be more beautiful than watching the earth return to itself, floating away softly as it said goodbye? Autumn was his favorite time of year. It was fitting for the day.

 He lost track of time, as he often did when he got lost in his thoughts. It was Jackson's face suddenly filling his field of vision that brought him back to the present. He jumped slightly, sitting up and smacking his forehead into Jackson's roughly.

 "Ow," he muttered as he rubbed his head. 

 "Ditto," Jackson laughed, also rubbing his forehead but his eyes were bright and he was smiling. He was always smiling. Mark didn't want him to ever stop smiling.

 "Warn a guy next time," he managed. Jackson probably  _had_ called out to him but arguing with Jackson was much more fun than admitting it was his fault. 

 "I did!" Jackson was looking down at him with wide eyes and semi-annoyed expression but Mark knew him well enough to know he wasn't upset at all. 

  "Popping your face above mine does  _not_ count as a warning," he chuckled. He was egging Jackson on at this point and by Jackson's semi-flared nostrils it was working.

 "I called your name! It's not my fault you didn't hear me!"

 "Yah, whatever." He grinned at Jackson and held his hand out, the latter grabbing it to help him up. Jackson gave him a floppy grin and it almost made Marks breath hitch in his chest. These were the moments he'd cherish the most. Jackson being Jackson. He was a bit of a dick sometimes, constantly loud and obnoxious and had a habit of getting worked up easily but Mark wouldn't ask for anything else. It was these things that made Jackson who he was and Mark loved every bit of him.

 "So what do you wanna do? The new Deadpool movie just came out! Wanna watch it?"

 Mark did. He'd been interested from the moment he saw the trailer come out but his headaches made it hard to go the the movies. Everything was so loud and so bright. It left him feeling more nauseous than he'd like to admit. Still, what was that in the grander scheme of things when he could make Jackson smile? 

 "Sure," he smiled. "Let's go."

 

 Jackson was one of those theatre goers you could consider 'obnoxious.' He laughed too loudly and scoffed at anything that seemed remotely stupid. He'd eat nachos or popcorn, whatever he felt like that day, much louder than necessary and slurp his drink back. 

 Mark didn't care if it annoyed anyone today. If there was one thing he would allow himself it was Jackson. Whatever he gave Mark, Mark would accept it today. He sat through Jackson's commentary on all the trailers, his exuberant reactions, his animated theories when the movie ended, all with a smile. Jackson was still Jackson and he never failed to make Mark smile, even when he didn't want to. 

 "So what now? Hungry?"

  _Not really,_ he wanted to say.

 "Yeah. Let's eat."

 

 They went to Jackson's favorite western style restaurant. It was more of a drive in than a restaurant but he wasn't here to argue semantics. Jackson could never seem to get enough of the greasy hamburgers or greasier fries. Mark had lived in the US until he was 12 so he was a bit more used to the food. Still, it was cute watching Jackson be so excited about something as simple as a hamburger.

 They didn't eat in silence; they never ate in silence. Jackson kept the conversation going the whole time. If everybody had a talent Jackson's was talking. He never ran short of words or new stories. Mark envied him for it. He'd never been big on words. Now how many of his stories would never be told?

 "Yah, earth to Mark Tuan! You there?" 

 "Yeah, sorry, just zoned out." He grinned at Jackson, paying more attention as he continued his story about the new kid in his dance class that apparently was pretty good but seemed too full of himself. He needed to absorb this, absorb everything Jackson said.

 He picked at his food every so often. He couldn't really stomach any food but ate enough to keep Jackson off his back. That and asking questions kept Jackson sufficiently distracted so he could get through lunch. 

 They finished their food and wandered back to the park. They ended up under their tree again, sitting with their backs to the trunk and talking. Jackson was always talking. It used to annoy Mark a bit but now he wanted to remember every thing that came out of Jackson's mouth.

 He listened to him talk more about dance class, about the fight he'd had with his parents last night over his curfew, about his thoughts on majors for college next year. Mark fought back the unease and schooled his expression into one of agreement before Jackson could see the change. 

 He was simultaneously ecstatic and upset to hear Jackson talk about his future, ecstatic because he seemed to have it all figured out, and Mark knew he would do well, but upset because he knew he wouldn't be a part of it. At least Jackson had a plan. He'd succeed, Mark knew it.

 He watched Jackson out of the corner of his eye whenever he could, generally when he launched into one of his stories. Jackson could be a foot away from you but when he focused on a story you might as well be yards away for how much he noticed. Mark didn't hold it against him. He'd spent their friendship quiet and timid. How should Jackson know it was for a different reason this time? 

 It was nearing sunset. They'd talked for hours. Well, Jackson had. Mark had just nodded and responded where appropriate. He wanted to hear _as much_ as he could from Jackson _while_ he could. 

 "Uh, Jackson. There's something I need to tell you."

 This was it. This was the moment where he had to stop pretending everything could stay the same. No more closing his eyes and pretending it wasn't real. He couldn't avoid it any longer. 

 "Yeah, what's up?" 

 Jackson turned to him, face waiting so casually and Mark wished he could runaway but he owed Jackson the truth.  _Some_ of it at least. He owed him that much.

 "Uh, I'm leaving." He paused, unsure how to phrase the rest.

 "Okay? No big deal, we can talk tomorrow if you need to go."

 Jackson looked so fucking perfect, leaning against the tree with his dark eyes and patient expression and it nearly did Mark in. 

 "No, I don't mean now. I mean for good. Like permanently."

 He forced the words out before he could stop himself. He wished it was different. He wished the words weren't true. He would give  _anything_ to make them untrue. Jackson looked at him puzzled, one eyebrow quirked up as he tried to decipher what he'd said.

 "You mean moving? You're moving away?"

 Why did this have to be so hard?

 "I'm sorry," he said, swallowing as he turned away. He couldn't look at Jackson when he said it, couldn't lie straight to his face. "Today's my last day."

 He expected Jackson to be upset, expected him to demand an explanation. He didn't expect him to get pissed, jumping to his feet and staring Mark down with a death glare.

 "You're leaving tomorrow and you only chose  _now_ to tell me?"

 "I'm sorry," he really was, "it was sudden." It was.

 Jackson looked down at him, sad, and oh no, he shouldn't be sad.

 "How sudden? How long have you known? How long have you kept this from me?" He was quiet when he spoke the last part, and maybe it was Mark's imagination hearing the break in Jackson's voice but maybe not. 

 "Not long. I told you as soon as I could." That wasn't a lie. Mark had been unable to say anything to Jackson before today. He hadn't known for sure until today. Now he knew and there was no more putting it off.

 "Really? You  _really_ only found out today because if I find out you've been keeping shit from me I'll smack a bitch." 

 Mark laughed at this. It wasn't funny, not really, but Jackson used humor when he was uncomfortable. If it calmed Jackson he would laugh at anything he said.

 "I promise, I only found out for sure today. I'm leaving tomorrow."

  It was silent for a moment while Jackson processed this and on any other day Mark would flaunt the fact he'd made him speechless but all he wanted was to hear Jackson's voice again. He never wanted to stop hearing it. 

 "What time?" Jackson looked at him with a blank expression, the wheels turning in his mind hidden from Mark. It almost made him whine but he was better than that.

 "Six am. Bright and early." He chuckled weakly but it didn't improve the mood at all. He hadn't expected it to. Jackson nodded, turning around pacing quietly.

 Mark wanted to ask what he was thinking but thought better of it. Instead, he took in the sight of Jackson. His stupid 'WANG' hat, the way he crumpled his eyebrows when he was focused, chewing on his lip. Everything about him made Mark's heart speed up dangerously. How he would miss him...

 "Is there any way to stop it," Jackson questioned, turning back to Mark quite seriously. It looked adorable if he was honest.

 "No," he smiled sadly. "It's going to happen."

  "But is it your parents? Because if they need to move you can stay with us! I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind and they've always liked you anyways! It would be cramped but we could make it work. Just move some stuff into the spare bedroom and rearrange my room..."

 He was rambling. He was adorable when he rambled. 

 "It's not my parents," Mark replied softly. "I can't stop this. I  _have_ to go. I'm sorry."

 He was getting dangerously close to breaking. He couldn't break, not here in front of Jackson. He pushed himself up, looking back at Jackson. 

 "I'm sorry. I really am but I can't change anything. This is happening."

 If he'd ever seen Jackson upset before this it paled in comparison to the way his eyes shone now. Mark wanted to reach out and hold him but that would only make things harder and he couldn't do that. Things were going to be hard enough as it was. Enough was enough. 

 "I'm sorry Jackson. I've got to go." He couldn't actually bring himself to say goodbye. It was too much. He turned around, blinking back the tears threatening to fall and took a step away.

  A hand wrapped around his wrist and pulled him back to face Jackson, expression somewhat frenzied.

 "Do you  _have_ to leave now? Can't you stay a bit longer? Please?"

 Jackson's voice  _definitely_ cracked a bit on the last word. Mark almost changed his mind, almost decided to stay and give them a few more moments but a few more moments wouldn't make things easier in the end and wouldn't change anything. He swallowed and looked Jackson in the eyes, squeezing his fists at his side as he worked up the courage to do what needed to be done. 

 "Yes, I have to leave. I can't stay. I'm sorry. I need to leave." 

 He pulled his wrist out of Jackson's hand, ignoring the slightly lost look on his face and turned around before he changed his mind. He sucked in a breath and began walking, not daring to turn back and look at Jackson again. If he turned back he would lose it and he couldn't afford to right now. He just walked forward, shutting away the dam of emotions threatening to break open. 

 He hated himself for it but it was what had to be done. Jackson was better off this way. It was always for Jackson.

 

* * *

 

 

The cancer progressed quickly, worming it's way into Mark's brain. By the time they'd found it, it was already stage IV. Too late too operate, they said. Two to three months, they said. 

 He wasn't going to put Jackson through that. It was better this way. Jackson thought he was gone. He'd left the day after he told Jackson for a special care facility. To make his time left comfortable, they said. Scratchy bedsheets and group therapy sessions weren't comfortable. 

 Jackson, with his warm laughter and soft eyes was comfortable. Jackson, with his stupid jokes and double entendrees was comfortable. Jackson, with his tight hugs and slow breaths was comfortable.

This was not comfort. It was hell. It was okay, though, because every night he looked at Jackson's picture and knew he did the right thing. It was still Jackson that got him through it, it was always Jackson.

 It was that same picture they propped onto his bedside stand when he seized and lost motion in his left side. It was that same picture they showed him when he became too weak to move and had to be bathed by the nurses. It was that same picture his mom showed him when the fluid filled his brain and he couldn't breathe anymore. 

 

* * *

 

 

_Mark Tuan died on October 2nd, 2015 after a rigorous battle with cancer. He is survived by his mother and father, his sisters Tammy and Grace and brother Joey._

_Mark was a spirited boy who always saw the positive in every situation._ _Those who knew him were always captivated by his smile and happy outlook on life._

_His funeral is set for October 5th, 2015, 2 pm at Grace Memorial church._

Jackson clutched the clipping in his fist, tears brimming down his face. He couldn't stop missing Mark. He would never stop missing Mark.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I am SO sorry. 
> 
> Inspired by Summer Romance by BTOB and Autumn Leaves by Ed Sheeran.


End file.
